+44 7985 147884 Open: Mon - Sat 8:00am - 8:00pm Online or Face-To-Face therapy at your door

12 ways to Build trust from abandonment in a new relationship.

April 12, 2024

Building trust in a relationship is vital for its success and longevity, particularly if you've experienced abandonment or unfaithfulness in the past. Here are some steps to help you build trust in your relationship:


1. Be self-aware: Acknowledge where you are and admit that this is a struggle moving forward. Heal from the past before venturing into a new relationship, considering what to look out for in the future.


2. Be focused: Focus on where you are and avoid comparing. Stop looking for signs that may make you feel abandoned. If you keep probing, you will always find something. Focus all your attention on the present and remove suspicion from your eyes and ears.


3. Communication: Open and honest communication is the foundation of trust. Make sure to express your thoughts, feelings, and expectations to your partner. Be a good listener and encourage your partner to share their perspective. Let them know what you would want that would make you feel safe.


4. Honesty and transparency: Be open and honest with your partner about your feelings, actions, and intentions. Avoid keeping secrets or hiding essential details, as this can erode trust. Try to share your activities with each other, where you are, where you are going, when you will be back, etc. If possible, do not have passwords on your electrical items. Keep your work phone separate from your private phone to help build more trust.


5. Be reliable and consistent: Show up for your partner when you say you will. Be consistent in your actions and behaviours, as this helps your partner rely on and trust you.


6. Keep your promises: If you make a promise or commitment, follow through. Breaking promises can significantly damage trust, so only make commitments you can keep. What you say and do is of great importance.


7. Show empathy and understanding: Demonstrate empathy and understanding towards your partner's feelings and experiences. Validate their emotions and be there for them when they need your support. Listen to understand, not to respond.


8. Avoid judgment and criticism: Create a safe space where your partner feels comfortable opening up without fear of judgment or criticism. Encourage open dialogue and respect their opinions and choices, even if you disagree. Make them feel heard.


9. Apologise and forgive: Learn to apologise sincerely when you make a mistake or hurt your partner. Similarly, practice forgiveness when your partner makes a mistake or apologises. Holding grudges can hinder trust-building in a relationship.


10. Build a secure attachment: Cultivate a solid emotional connection with your partner by being responsive, attentive, and available to their needs. Make them feel valued and loved. Do things together and build together.


11. Respect boundaries and privacy: Establish and respect personal boundaries in your relationship. Allowing your partner their privacy and personal space helps build trust and maintain individual identities.


12. Be reliable in difficult times: Trust is built and tested during challenging times. Be trustworthy and supportive when your partner goes through challenging situations, showing them they can count on you.


Remember, building trust takes time and effort from both partners. It requires consistent communication, understanding, and mutual respect. If you love someone, you give your best and learn together for your relationship.