A troubled relationship is a relationship that is gradually heading downhill and is usually a cause for concern or worry. A lot of people believe that lack of communication is the only reason for troubled relationships, but this is just the surface. 

 To find solutions to troubled relationships one must first identify the underlying causes. These are a few tips on how you can identify a troubled relationship:

1. Clarity

Clarity is germane in sustaining a successful and healthy relationship. Clarity is the quality of being transparent and pure to yourself. Each individual must be clear and honest with themselves; have an inner dialogue; ask if is this the right relationship for them. does this person fit within my marriage model? When matters of spirituality, finances, children, property, or even family have been discussed the intent and perspective of each individual must be clearly understood and owned as an honest pursuit. If the opposite of this is found in a relationship it would gradually head downhill. If this is not the right relationship for you why pursue it in the first place?

2. Lack of Expression
A good relationship starts with proper communication. Our expressions and feelings must be properly communicated to our partners. A relationship whereby one individual feels like they cannot properly express themselves would hinder communication. This would eventually lead to pretense and misunderstandings. In a healthy relationship, you should be able to express yourself and do what you want without fear.

3. Unheard Voice
This is quite similar to the previous point. Here, lack of expression isn’t the issue. In this case, you express yourself, but your partner doesn’t seem to understand or implement what you have spoken. It may seem to you that your words are falling on deaf ears. An unheard voice may lead to frustration, discomfort, anxiety, and even mental health issues. It is an important sign of a troubled relationship that should not be ignored.

4. Do you feel you have to compromise most times?

A compromise is a way of reaching an agreement in which one or both persons has to give up something they wanted. No two people are the same therefore compromise is inevitable in a healthy relationship. However, compromises that involve you ignoring your values and lowering your standards are not healthy. A good compromise favors both partners and both are happy with the agreement, whereas a bad compromise fails to have this balance. Bad compromises can bring anxiety and depression to one of the individuals. One who makes bad compromises every time is in a troubled relationship.

5. Unmet emotional needs
Just like physical needs, everyone has emotional needs. The strength of the bond of a relationship is highly dependent on whether emotional needs are being met. Emotional needs are feelings we need as humans to feel happy, or at peace. Affection, empathy, security, acceptance, honesty, attention, etc. are all examples of emotional needs that need to be met. A vivid understanding of one’s emotional needs is important as these needs are individualistic. If you constantly feel like these needs are unmet, communicate them to your partner. If your partner is unable to supply these needs then it may be better to opt out for the sake of your mental health.

6. Walking on eggshells
Walking on eggshells means that you are being careful of what you say or do for fear of upsetting someone. If you are walking on eggshells in a relationship then you are treading lightly and letting your partner’s mood determine your behavior. You are careful of what you do so as not to set them off. Being in this kind of relationship most likely increases one’s anxiety and stress levels.
Often, a person who is walking on eggshells in a relationship is described as being emotionally abused. This is because the person is manipulated intentionally or unintentionally. Such a person is unable to interact with his/her partner as he/she ought to. 

This is an important sign of a troubled relationship.

7. Constantly unsure
Individuals in a healthy relationship may have a clear vision or glimpse of where the relationship is heading. If you constantly doubt the future of the relationship you might be in a troubled relationship. This means that you do not foresee a future with your partner. You constantly worry about the certainty of spending forever with your partner. It also comes with a feeling of anxiety, nervousness, and fear. This uncertainty may result from doubting the authenticity of your partner’s love, insecurity, lack of conviction, and much more.

Written by Abigail Borquaye @ Healing wings support.